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Saturday, July 30, 2011

You Can Never Unlearn This




Holy Crap how have I lived 28 years without knowing this? 
I have to say I love you to my kids. Even though I did kind of vagina them I don't want to think about that.  

But it is pretty interesting. I looked it up to make sure it wasn't bull plop. Turns out it is bull plop. But if you want to know some true interesting stuff about the wonderful vagina here you ya go.
It's also a link to the original post by Lissa Rankin @ www.owningpink.com  
15 things I bet you never knew about vajayjays.
  1. Pubic hair is not just a biological accident that forces us to the waxing salon. It serves three critical functions. First, it protects the delicate vagina. Second, it serves as a reproductive billboard to alert potential mates that you are biologically (if not emotionally) prepared to procreate. And last, it’s a pheromone carpet and traps the scents that lead potential mates to the promised land. So you might think twice before you shave it all off. It’s there for a reason. Embrace it.
  2. There are 8000 nerve endings in the clitoris, dedicated exclusively to female pleasure. The penis only has 4000. Who says God didn’t take care of us girls?
  3. The average vagina is 3-4 inches long, but fear not if your guy is hung like a horse. The vagina can expand by 200% when sexually aroused, kind of like a balloon. Remember, the vagina was made to birth babies, so it’s exceedingly elastic. If you have pain when getting it on with someone large, you can use dilators to help stretch the vagina so you can accommodate the whole package.
  4. The vagina doesn’t connect to the lung. While the vagina can expand, it’s not an open conduit to the abdominal cavity. While microscopic sperm can swim through a tiny hole in the cervix, a tampon simply won’t fit. So if you lose something in there, don’t worry. Reach in all the way and pull it out. Do not -- I repeat, do not -- go hunting for whatever you’ve lost with a pair of pliers. Think of your vagina as being like a sock. If you lose a banana in a sock…it stays in the sock.
  5. Yes, it’s true -- your vagina can fall out. Not to belabor the sock metaphor, but it can turn inside out just like a worn out sweat sock and hang between your legs as you get older. But don’t fret; this condition -- called pelvic prolapse -- can be fixed.
  6. Vaginas have something in common with sharks. Both contain squalene, a substance that exists in both shark livers and natural vaginal lubricant. (Cue music: “She’s a maneater…”)
  7. You can catch sexually transmitted diseases even if you use a condom. Sorry to break it to you, but the skin of the vulva can still touch infectious skin of the scrotum -- and BAM! Warts. Herpes. Molluscum contagiosum. Pubic lice. So pick your partners carefully.
  8. The average length of the labia minora is less than ¾ inch long (yes, someone got out a ruler and measured 2981 women). Only 1.8% of women have labia longer than 1 ½ inches. But remember, every vulva is different and special. Some lips hang down. Some are tucked up neatly inside. Some are long. Some are short. Some are even. Some aren’t. All are beautiful. You’re perfect just the way you are.
  9. While hair on your head can live up to seven years, pubic hair has a life expectancy of about three weeks, which is why it only grows so long. So don’t worry if you opt not to groom your pubes -- you won’t need to braid them any time soon.
  10. The word “vagina” comes from the Latin root meaning “sheath for a sword,” which may explain why some women simply hate the word. So if you don’t like the word “vagina,” pick your own name for your girly parts. Just call it something and don’t be afraid to talk about it.
  11. Only about 30% of women have orgasms from intercourse alone. The clitoris is where the action is. Most women who do orgasm during sex have figured out how to hit their sweet spot, either from positioning or from direct stimulation of the clitoris with fingers.
  12. Increasing evidence suggests that the G spot feels good because it lies right over a deep part of the clitoris. Although experts describe the G spot as being inside the vagina on the anterior wall, just under the urethra, the crura of the clitoris actually runs right there. And a recent study demonstrated that vaginal orgasms may actually be deep clitoral orgasms. But who cares? An orgasm is an orgasm. Appreciate it, regardless of where it comes from.
  13. Vaginal farts (some call them “queefs” or “varts”) happen to almost all women at one time or another, especially during sex or other forms of exercise. So don’t be embarrassed if your hooha lets out a toot. You’re perfectly normal.
  14. Some women do ejaculate during orgasm, but you’re normal if you don’t. The controversial “female ejaculation” most likely represents two different phenomena. If it’s a small amount of milky fluid, it likely comes from the paraurethral glands inside the urethra. If it’s a cup, it’s probably pee. Many times, it may be a little bit of both. But don't stress out about peeing on yourself. Put a towel under you and surrender to the experience.
  15. Safe sex (or even just orgasm alone) is good for you. Benefits include lowering your risk of heart disease and stroke, reducing your risk of breast cancer, bolstering your immune system, helping you sleep, making you appear more youthful, improving your fitness, regulating menstrual cycles, relieving menstrual cramps, helping with chronic pain, reducing the risk of depression, lowering stress levels, and improving self esteem. So go at it, girlfriends!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

We Are One Big Family

In case someone needs yet another reminder of how we are all connected 

Monday, July 18, 2011

Oops I caught myself being sexist


This is my formal apology 


A few days ago I posted the story about the woman who cut off her husband's junk and put it down the garbage disposal. Not just that, she drugged him, tied him up, and he woke up to his penis being cut off. I knew it was fucked up, but I found myself wondering why she did it. Wondering if he cheated or hit her or something. Then I got to thinking about it.

If a man drugged a woman and then cut off her clit and sewed up her vagina I would fight back the urge to vomit and not think for reasons to defend him.

Not really sure why I did that. I adore penis and I think guys do get the short end of the stick some times. When a woman rapes a man or hits a man people don't take it as seriously as they should. I guess it is kind of hard to feel bad for men being a woman because we get the short end of the stick a lot. That doesn't make it ok it is still fucked up.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Pharmacist Gets Life


I read this story recently about this pharmacist who got life in prison because he shot and killed a young man who pulled a gun on him during an armed robbery. They said because after he shot him in the head he grabbed another gun and shot him 5 more times it was murder. It is just bugging the crap out of me.

Seriously how can this be murder? He was protecting himself and the others around him.

People say well he didn't need those 5 other shots. No he probably didn't even if the guy was still moving, but it wouldn't be unreasonable to think the man who just pulled a gun on you was still a threat. Since he JUST pulled a gun on him. Murder means you had forethought and intent. Which obviously this guy didn't.

People must be watching too many action movies. Normal people who get guns pulled on them aren't ninjas they are not thinking rationally any more. No one gets used to it. If your lucky you go into survival mode and live.

How can people think that in that very short time period he was suppose to recuperate from the shock of having someone pull a gun on him, then shooting that man, then have him still be moving so quickly that he can then commit premeditated murder? People who get guns pulled on them can stay fucked up by it for the rest of their lives. Almost everyone agrees post traumatic stress syndrome is real and can last pretty much forever, but they can't understand why this man was a little over zealous while this was happening? He wasn't sitting in front of his computer reading about it. Besides if the first shot was completely legal and it killed him it was not murder he was already dead. If that shot didn't kill him he was still a threat. There is no way to prove those other shots were the ones that killed him.

Seriously get real people. If you don't want bad shit to happen to you don't rob people. If you do you might get shot a bunch of times or some one might kick your ass and keep you as a sex slave. I wouldn't hold your breath on that on that last one.

Don't get me wrong I feel sorry for the kid. He was 16, he did a stupid, stupid thing. He might have with the slightest twist of faith had a complete fulfilling life where he was a helpful member of a society and sadly we will never know now. That doesn't change the fact that the pharmacist couldn't have possible known if this was a stupid kid or a vicious killer. Just because we feel bad doesn't mean an innocent man should go to prison for life.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Ron Paul's Brain Is a Dirty Diaper

It's not always full of shit, but it stinks and nothing has came out of it that made me want to vote for him.



Yesterday I went to go house hunting. The guy tying to sell us the house would not stop talking. He talked about how he was a big dick to all his X wives. For some reason when he found out I didn't like coffee he told me he didn't drink coffee, even though he had a cup of coffee on his desk. Then he was like oh I drink coffee here. Like I give a fuck where and when that douche drinks coffee. Any ways eventually his nonsense babble turned to politics. Of course he was a Ron Paul supporter. In his words "I like him but he can't win".

No shit? You mean our country hasn't devolved enough to elect an openly racist, crackpot, want to be anarchist? Halle fuckin luja for some good news.

When I see a Ron Paul sticker on someone's car it might as well read I don't really know about politics, but I'm very opinionated.

Pretty much everything that keeps this county from being a total shit hole Ron Paul is against. Let me a list a few for you.

Public libraries, Fire departments, the EPA, government safety guidelines for food, Government safety guidelines for building, Safety in general, government officials other then himself, public education, medicaid, medicare, social security, income tax, public parks, any kind of gun control. There is a lot more but you get the idea.

With all this anti government nonsense he spews what does he want to use the government for? Other then to protect him from young black men? He also wants to make sure he takes away a woman's right to choose. Apparently his body and his money is his business. A woman's body and money is also his business.

People say oh the free market will work everything out. That is so fucking stupid it makes me want to stab myself in my head with a fork. Corporations? They are pretty much running things now, but I'm not ready to give up the fight and just hand them total control.

A Ron Paul troll told me the other day that people wouldn't use an unsafe company. What world did that bitch live on? Broke people are broke. They are going to use cheap companies if the can, even if they put the whole world in danger because they have a lack of options. Most corporations are killing the earth and sucking the life out of it's people. The same companies that lie to us all the damn time about how safe their factories/products are till they kill enough people that they can't hide it anymore. These are the people Ron is protecting.

He is getting rich (very rich by that government money he hates so much, the corporations he works for, and the people he is fucking over when they believe his bullshit) by trying to make other people poor.  Trying to take away minimum wage even though raising the minimum wage has shown to help this country. Trying to take away workers rights and safe working conditions. He wants to take away health care for anyone who is not super rich because you know the "free market" isn't going to be handing that out. They have governments like the one Ron is preaching about. Here is a short video about it.

Don't get me wrong I can see I can see why people who don't know much about him would want to vote for him. He wants to make drugs legal. Fantastic. He wants to lower people's taxes great. He preaches about how he wants to keep the government out of people's lives, but only for rich old white men. I have to be honest with you I would rather not be able to do legal heroin if it means my kids have no safe schools to go to. Making schools, prisons, and war for profit is a FUCKING TERRIBLE IDEA and Ron Paul can shove it up his ass. I would rather our government go to war then just setting Black Water free to do what ever war they want (wish we would stop the wars though). Corporations need less power in this country not more. People want to trust him because he is polite and looks like an adorable little old man, but for fuck sake learn a little bit about the man before you join his cult like following or get all butt hurt by people making fun of him. 

















Thursday, July 7, 2011

Helpful Tips From The Anti Betty Crocker



 I am feeling pretty damn good about myself right now. I cooked dinner two nights in a row. Not only was it edible but it was good and I didn't set anything on fire!

 I know you're jealous as hell.

 I have been trying to not let my inadequacy in the kitchen negatively effect my kids. So I have been coming up with ways to feed them healthy foods. One thing I've learned is that making an awesome ground turkey meat loaf is easy! I also add a little sweet pickle juice. MMM MMM bitches.

On most nights I'm not feeling that culinary (btw if your a grammar nazi you're probably on the wrong blog). So I try to buy healthy stuff and sneak healthier stuff into it. Example: last night I made a frozen chicken alfredo dinner which is not so healthy so I put in some zucchini from the garden and it was awesome! I have figure out that you can sneak zucchini into almost anything.

You can also buy wonderful central market macaroni and cheese from HEB and mix summer squash in it. Fantastic! I'm a huge fan of HEB. They like to buy their stuff locally and the central market organic  products are awesome and you should put it in your face.

 This is also a good trick to try with your garden tomatoes. Not with macaroni but with pretty much any Italian dish. Or anything red go ahead and throw them in there.

Or as always you can take your squash and zucchini and boil them in a pot. Even better throw some okra in there fast, easy, and tasty. I can't get my kids to eat it but maybe your a good parent who don't have to trick their kids into eating right. I don't know.  

When your in a hurry I have found these awesome organic chocolate crisp bars. I bought them for the kids but ended up eating most of them myself, added bonus gluten free.

Anything I have ever bought made by Cascadian Farms Organic has just been wonderful. They make a lot of the cereal, snack bars, and other things that are easy and the kids love.

I hate to say this because I don't want to talk bad about a company that sells so many organic products, but I'm going to. I have not tasted anything made by Annie's I actually like. The kids like the cheesy ravioli so that is something. If I'm wrong please leave a comment about a product you like by them because I really want to like this company.

 Earth's Best Organic Makes great stuff for the wee ones. My daughter is a big fan of their blue berry snack fruit hearts and the fruit bars. Plus they are in cahoots with sesame street so you know they gots to be good. 

Ok I have to go get the clothes off the line. I saved like 30 bucks on my electric bill since I put it up not even a month ago. Score!