Friday, March 18, 2011

Blaming the victim

I just read a post on face book from a local news channel about a 13 year old girl from Arizona abducted by a 19 year old she was talking to online. They found her safe in TX. I went to the comments expecting to find things like what kind of terrible person would kidnap a little girl? What was there was people saying how stupid the kid was and how the parents were to blame and should be locked up. What the hell? Yes you are suppose to keep track of what kids are doing online. Maybe they weren’t the world’s best parents (we don‘t know), but you can not hover over a 13 year old all the time. Even if they were terrible neglectful parents another adult coming an abducting their child is not their fault! It would be a completely different issue. He was the problem. He was trolling the internet looking for little girls. He is the sick o who took her. Why would that be the last thing people think when they read about this?
This isn’t the first article this month that got me pissed with all the blame the victim comments. The New York times published and article about the 11 year old ganged raped here in TX. It went on and on about the comments made by the local community. Comments suggesting it was her fault for “dressing like a hooker” “hanging out with older boys” It had all the classics “where were her parents”  “wearing makeup” . Even threw in some interesting new hits like “these boys are going to have to live with this the rest of their lives”. Makes me want to vomit. No one cared about where the hell were the rapist parents were while these ADULTS were RAPING a CHILD!?!
I was thinking that maybe this was a local problem. Texas in not always the most evolved state when it comes to women’s issues. Then I remembered an article I read from England about a repeatedly convicted sex offender (apparently they just lets those assholes out all the time there to) raping two young brothers in a McDonalds bathroom. More of those comments were about how that man should die a terrible terrible death, but they were still talking shit about the father who thought it would be ok for two kids to use the bathroom while he was 10 ft away. I couldn’t imagine the world of hurt that man was in. I just can’t wrap my head around how those people could blame him for that, and now I kind of wonder if the 7 year old would have been a girl wearing make up if they would have said she had it coming.
I remember standing in line to use the restroom at a state park when I was younger (by myself even though I had wonderful parents) and a jeep full of girls in bikinis driving by. The woman next to me said “how disgusting when those girls get raped it’ll be their own fault” . Even as a kid I was like what the hell is wrong with that woman?
If we are going to place blame at least direct it in the right place! If some one rapes some one they are to blame. Maybe they had shitty parents I don’t know but I do know that they are the problem when they rape someone. Not the victim. Not the victim’s parents. Unless there is some crazy other circumstances like the parents sold them into slavery or the people watching them were in a drug induced coma, but even then they should be in trouble for that. The rape is still the rapist fault! I almost forgot where I was going with this.
Teach your children to respect, love, and take care of each other. We are never going to find a solution to a problem if you don’t acknowledge what is causing the problem. It can’t be healthy for kids to hear if a girl gets raped it’s the girl’s fault. If a kid gets raped it’s the parent’s fault.
I think I have broke the record for using the word rape the most times in a blog post.

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