Saturday, April 16, 2011

Yay for adoption!

I don’t like a lot of the stuff the anti-choice people do, but I am a big fan of promoting adoption. I’m glad some one is putting up billboard encouraging people not to abort. Just because I’m pro choice doesn’t mean I’m pro abortion. I think a large part of the problem is the illogical stigma attached to adopting out a baby. I read in an article that women who give up a baby have more metal anguish afterwards then women who abort. That is completely crazy but I can see how that can happen. There is so much pressure on women to be a good mother. Which in some ways are a good thing. There should be more pressure on fathers to be good parents to. When you hear about a father having custody of children people usually assume there is something seriously wrong with the mom. When the mom has custody no one thinks twice. I have heard guys bitch that their baby mommas lost their children to cps. Even though they weren’t helping and didn’t offer to take them afterwards. Then there are the guys that think they are good dads just because they pay there court ordered child support.
On the other hand a woman who admits that she isn’t the best person to raise a child and gives it to someone who will love them and raise them right is a wonderfully respectful thing to do. I’m glad the movie Juno came out but there are lot more movies that come out where some poor girl gets knocked up and against all odds raises the baby and lives happily ever after. When other women don’t feel they can live up to that they choose abortion over adoption. I know that is the story behind ever abortion just some of them.
I don’t know where I’m going with this since I have no idea how to make it better. There are a lot of good people out there that want to adopt. I wish it was easier to get children in to those homes. I wish I knew how to promote adoption and ease the undeserved guilt women feel from giving such a wonderful gift. There are just so many more issues that goes along with these things that I don’t have the ability to change or even fully understand. You can tell women all day that it is a wonderful thing to give a baby up for adoption and they might know it to. There is just so much deep physiological stuff going on.  I’m not saying this is such a big problem that we shouldn’t even try to tackle it.  I’m just saying I don’t have any idea how to.
My two cents is there is no shame in carrying a baby then giving it up for adoption. I know no one likes to admit they can’t do something and that they got themselves into a mess but shit happens. The public needs to stop shaming these women. And as always I wish the mental health services in this country were better and would give more counseling services for women when the give a baby up for adoption.

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