Sunday, May 8, 2011

RIP Robert

My first Husband Robert JR. passed away May 9 2006.  So much has changed since then it is strange to think back to then. I don’t really think there is a point to this post it is mostly just me venting.
I feel kind of strange just talking about it. I have a new husband and some times all most feel guilty for thinking about him, but even if I could forget him I wouldn’t want to.
I’m not going to lie I was really mad at first for him abandoning me with a two year old. I was only 23 I was too young to be a widow blah blah blah. But I have forgave as much as a person can forgive for stuff like this. Anyone who has known someone close to them who committed suicide knows it is a strange arrangement of emotions composed of guilt, anger, sadness, denial, and everything in between.
I loved him and now I am just thankful for the time we did get to spend together. Even if they weren’t all ways the happiest. And if he is somewhere reading this I want to reassure him that I know that you loved me to.
Also I’m thankful for the gift you gave me that looks more like you everyday . Andrew misses you to.
Even though I know spending time thinking of what could have been is a waste of time I still do it. I hope where ever you are now you found the happiness you deserved. You were a great man..
He get's that from you
What hurts the most 

A beautiful story of love

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