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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Tips for mother's day


Mother's day is coming up I thought I would help out for people trying to figure out what to do for the mother's in their life.  That's what I do I'm a helper.

What mom wants
1. A break! From kids, from stress, from responsibility. Give that bitch a nap... bitches love naps. 
2. Wine, beer, booze, maybe a little reefer I don't know I'm not here to judge.
3. A massage our feet hurt damnit! 
4. Some sex. Not your mother but the mother of your children. I in no way endorse incest. Maybe this list should go a break, booze, massage, sex, nap. That sounds like an awesome day.
5. Any of the old classics jewelry, candies, flowers, fancy dinner. Warning on the flowers some women don't like them because they die they are expensive they die and make a mess. And if she is on a diet no candy!
6. No bitching all day. Just complete agreement and admiration. No dirty diapers. No cleaning. Just wow you are so beautiful and wonderful and you smell nice. How can you be so smart? I'm so lucky just to be in your presence. Blah blah blah.
PS during #4 don't make her mother again. You have to be careful.  

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